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Wednesday, June 23, 2004

I posted this a while back on my other blog, but I don't know if anyone saw it. So here it is again...

MIL'S TOP TEN BONER MOMENTS OF CINEMA

I was just thinking about some of the great movie moments from the past. Used to be that movies were made because someone thought they would make a great movie. Nowadays movies are made if the producers think they will make money. It's a different mindset--at least for the studios. Speilberg and Lucas changed all that with the introduction of the blockbuster, but good movies were still being made for their own sake up to and around that time by the studios, and Indies still get made because someone thinks they've got a movie that needs to be made for its own sake. It's only when you make a movie for its own sake that you can get a truly great movie moment, and that's also why you can never get a great movie moment out of something like "Tomb Raider," or "Spy Kids."

Here is a list of ten of my favorite movie moments. If you have not seen these, you need to go get these movies and watch them all.

MIL'S TOP TEN BONER MOMENTS OF CINEMA

1. Luke Blowing up the Deathstar in "Star Wars."

2. Michael Corleone kills Virgil Solozzo and Chief McClusky in "The Godfather."

3. Indiana Jones shoots the Black-Clad Swordsman in "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

4. The entire 100 minutes of "Annie Hall."

5. T.E. Lawrence is forced to kill the man he just risked his life to rescue in order to keep peace between two Arab tribes in "Lawrence of Arabia."

6. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, Moonwatcher throws an animal bone into the air--cut to a space station in orbit around the earth.

7. Robert Shaw's U.S.S. Indianapolis speech in "JAWS."

8. The "Mirror Scene" from "Duck Soup."

9. "Once Upon a Time in the West," the end, revealing why Charles Bronson is always playing the harmonica.

10. Toshiro Mifune riding on horseback after a group of soldiers with his sword drawn in "The Hidden Fortress."

Bonus Boner Moment: Uriens Knights Arthur in the moat at Leodigrance's Castle in "Excalibur."

As a true movie lover, movie-geek and movie-snob, these moments and scenes have given me goosebumps and also put a salty one in the corner of my eye. And there are many many more. If you have a boner moment to share, email me at mil@maskedmoviesnobs.com and let me know about it.

Friday, June 18, 2004



CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK

"Written" by Jim Wheat and Ken Wheat

Directed by David Twohy

Starring Vin Diesel, Thandie Newton, and the guy who looks a lot like Alex P. Keaton's Dad.

I don't know why I even have to review a movie like The Chronicles of Riddick. This review is a week or so late--showing my disdain for this type of movie. Could you not tell the movie was a steaming turd by watching the trailer? I feel a bit out of the loop because I did not even know it was a sequel to the extremely underwhelming Pitch Black from a few years back. This story is the continuing "adventures" of Riddick the Furion who can see in the dark. An amazing character trait by the way. He's up against an alien race who are sort of a cross between The Borg and ancient Greeks or something. A death-obsessed race called Necro--something-or-others is trying to take over the universe and there's some old prophecy about some Furion killing the leader of the aliens and of course it might just be Riddick. Ho hum. Featuring great ear-delicious dialog like when Vin Diesel gets a whiff of Thandie Newton, the Lady MacBeth of the story who is trying to get her Necro-alien husband to kill the leader and usurp his throne, he (Vin) says, "It's been a long time since I smelled...beautiful." That's as good as it gets, folks. There's also a confusing and boring foot chase scene on a really hot planet called "Crematoria" (so clever). I kept wanting them to go to the planet "Whipcreamia" so Thandie Newton could roll around in some stuff.

So there's my half-assed review. STAY AWAY...REPEAT...STAY AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE IF YOU VALUE A DOLLAR.

Mil out.